Bizarre Homeownership Happenings

Over the past couple months, I've received 4 letters (typed and handwritten) from a mysterious "Nate". Nate apparently works for a local property investment company which is oh-so-eagerly interested in purchasing my house ("as-is"!). I thought his first handwritten letter was creepy, comical, and fridge-decoration-worthy. Three letters later, I'm now just annoyed.

After three annoying letters, I sent this response Nate's way.

Nate got creative with his latest letter (which I received after my above response).